Category Archives: cremations

cremation services in Adelphi, MD

Letting a Child Know About a Death

Having a loss in your family is always going to be a harrowing experience but it can be even more difficult when you have to think about telling your child about that death. Speaking with children about death is not something that anyone wants to do, but it is important. It can help the child understand what has happened and it can help them get through the grieving process more easily. To have this kind of conversation, there are some things that providers of cremation services in Adelphi, MD want you to keep in mind.

You need to be honest with your child. It can be tempting to try to make the conversation less painful, but in the long run, you need to tell your child the truth. You want to use simple language, without euphemisms because they can confuse the child. This can make a huge difference in the process. Be as clear as possible to ensure that your child knows what they need to know.

It is also important to allow your child to ask questions. They will have many but they may not be sure if they can ask them. By letting your child know that they can, you will be offering them the help they need. Be honest when you answer these questions, too. If you do not know the answer, tell them exactly that and let them know that you will do your best to find it out. The more honesty you offer, the better the conversation will go.

You also want to let the child know that you are going through a difficult time, as well. Many times, children can struggle with grief because they feel alone with what they are going through. By telling them that you are feeling the same thing, you can help them feel less alone.

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Another thing that you want to do is to include them in the funerary services if that is something they are interested in. For many children, this can allow them to get closure. If your child does not want to attend the funeral or memorial service, however, it is important not to force them to do so. That can create more problems.

When letting your child know about death, it is crucial that you take the time to think about how, to be honest in a clear manner. You want to allow them to ask questions and to think about going to the service. You can also let them know that you are struggling, as well, so that they do not feel alone with their grief. If you have more questions or concerns about this conversation, you can reach out to an Adelphi, MD cremation service provider to learn more. We are ready to answer all of the questions you may have and we can ensure that you can help your loved one understand what death means. Give us a call right now to learn more.

Planning a Memorial on a Budget

For people who have lost a loved one and who are worried about their limited budget, planning the memorial or funeral service can be very difficult. You want to be able to offer the person the kind of service they deserve, and there are ways of doing this, even on a budget. Here are some tips that providers of cremation services in College Park, MD want you to keep in mind.

One thing you need to think about is the location of the service. Some people think that you have to have it at a funeral home or at a place of worship, but that is not the case. When working with a limited budget, you may even want to think about having the service at home. More and more people are opting to do this and it can be a great option if you want to have a more intimate service.

You want to also think about the flower arrangements that you choose for the service. Funeral wreaths are beautiful, but they can also be very expensive. Instead of buying many of these, you can instead consider purchasing other kinds of bouquets. You may even want to ask people to donate flowers for the service. This is a common thing people ask about, so you will want to consider that.

If you want to have a reception after the service, it is a good idea to consider asking people to bring platters of food to share. It is very expensive to have catering for a reception and you may not want to do all of the preparations yourself, so you can get the help you need by asking people.

Another option you have is to set up a crowdfunding project. This is something that more and more people are opting to do. It is very easy to do this and you can share it through social media to make certain that you get people interested in helping out. People can donate as much as they want and this can help cover some of the costs of the funerary services. Do consider this, since it can make a difference in your bottom line.

When you start putting together the memorial service for a loved one, you will want to consider the kind of budget that have available and how you can save some money when you make arrangements. You want to be sure to consider the location of the service, the number of people you want to attend, and even the kind of reception you want to have. By keeping all of these things in mind, you will be able to give your loved ones the service they deserve. You can get started by reaching out to a College Park, MD cremation service provider like us at Donald V. Borgwardt Funeral Home, P.A. Our team is here to answer any questions you may have about this process. Give us a call right now or stop by our location today.

Steps to Take After a Death

After learning of the death of a loved one, you may be feeling stressed and completely exhausted. This is also the time when you have to start making funerary arrangements, which is not easy for anyone to do. If you have never made these kinds of arrangements before, you will want to know the steps that you need to take to make this a bit easier. Here are the suggestions that providers of cremation services in Adelphi, MD want you to remember.

The first thing you have to do is get the death certificate. Without this certificate, you will not be able to start making the arrangements. Medical professionals can help you with this. You can turn to nurses, hospice workers, doctors, emergency medical technicians, and many others in the field to provide you with the death certificate. Because you will need to give copies to a lot of different providers, you will want to think about getting ten or fifteen copies.

After you get the death certificate, you will want to reach out to loved ones to let them know about the death. Start with those who were closest to the deceased and recruit them to help you by letting others know. This can allow you to start with the other arrangements, and it can also save you some of the stress of having to let people know that a loved one has died.

Once you have done that, you need to start thinking about the kind of funerary services that your loved one would have wanted. This is much easier if the person told you or if they left their wishes in writing, but if they did not, you will want to think about the options that are most suitable. You can also ask family members for their suggestions since that can help you narrow your choices down.

After you have chosen the kind of service they would have wanted, you want to consider the company you want to hire. This is not always an easy thing to do and it can take time. Check that the provider you are considering can offer the services you want and that they have the necessary experience. Ask lots of questions and compare rates to be sure of the choice you are making.

 

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By taking the time to consider all of the steps you need to take, you will be able to make the necessary arrangements for your loved one. You need to get the death certificate as soon as you can and you then need to start letting people know what has happened. Once you do that, you can start with the arrangements. If you want to begin making plans, you can reach out to an Adelphi, MD cremation service provider like us at Donald V. Borgwardt Funeral Home, P.A. Our team is here to help you decide on the right funerary services for your loved one. Stop by our location or give us a call right now to speak with an expert.

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How to Avoid Making Grief Worse

One of the cremation services offered in College Park, MD is to provide advice about comforting and supporting families who are grieving over the death of their loved one. No one ever wants to make grief worse because they do or say something that they shouldn’t have said or done.

Most of us are uncomfortable with speaking to bereaved families because we don’t want to cause them any more pain. However, we also tend to say or do things that we think will help or be okay, and they do not or are not.

Here is a quick guide to some things that you can do to avoid making grief worse for your family members and friends when they have lost a love one.

The pain of grief is fresh and it is right at the surface. Because of that, almost everything the grieving person hears gets filtered through the emotions they are experiencing. Therefore, you might say something that, of and by itself, is okay, but its effect on the grieving person is not good and they react in a way that surprises you.

It might surprise you to learn that grief and anger are very close to each other on the emotional spectrum. Therefore, if you say things that come across as trite, callous, rude, disrespectful, or dismissive, the grieving person may lash out at you in anger.

What are some of the things you might say – and have probably heard said to grieving people – that could cause someone who is grieving to experience even more grief, even though that is not what you mean to do?

Platitudes are something that could make someone’s grief worse. Platitudes are expressions that we say without thinking. They roll off our tongues, but they don’t have any real feeling or understanding behind them.

If you offer platitudes to someone who is grieving, they may get the impression that you don’t really care enough about them to feel what they’re feeling and to comfort them through empathy and compassion.

Here are some common examples of platitudes.

“All things work together for good.” The person that you are speaking to does not see the loss of their loved one as good. They do not feel good. They are not going to feel good for a long time and the death of their loved one is never going to be something they view as a good thing. This platitude can appear to dismissive of the pain they are experiencing.

“They are in a better place.” This platitude can make grief worse because it suggests that the person’s loved one was not in the best place they could be when they were alive. That can come across as an insult to the person you are trying to console.

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“Everything will be okay.” This platitude may make grief worse because right now, for the person you are speaking to, everything is not okay. They lost somebody they love. That person is gone and that is not okay. This platitude can sound callous, because it can seem as though you do not see that the life of the person you are trying to comfort is currently anything but okay.

“Let me know if you need anything.” This is a common platitude that grieving people hear. While you may genuinely mean it when you say it, the person you are talking to has no idea what they need now or will need in the future.

If you want information about cremation services offered in College Park, MD, you can talk with our expert staff at Donald V. Borgwardt Funeral Home, P.A.

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What is a Columbarium Niche?

After cremation services in Adelphi, MD, you have a lot of options for what you want to do with your loved one’s cremation remains. One option that you have is to permanently store the cremation remains of your loved one in a columbarium niche.

A columbarium is a structure that contains small vaults where urns with the cremation remains of loved ones can be stored. A columbarium may be a separate building in a cemetery, or it might be part of a cemetery mausoleum.

However, a columbarium is a final resting place for the cremation remains of loved ones, so it is treated with respect and honor just like any other final resting place.

Each vault (also known as a niche) in a columbarium is large enough to hold urn or cremation container with your loved one’s cremation remains, as well as a few small items that may have had special meaning to your loved one.

Some columbarium niches have a clear piece of glass (that lets you see the contents inside the niche) with memorial information for your loved one on a plate underneath the niche. Other columbarium niches have solid grave maker (with your loved one’s memorial information on them) covering them.

If you want your loved one’s cremation remains stored in a particular style of columbarium niche (clear glass or solid gravestone), your funeral home director will make sure that your wishes are honored.

Not all columbarium niches are the same size. Columbarium niches that are designed for a single urn are about nine cubic inches. However, some columbariums have bigger niches that can accommodate multiple (two or more) urns so that family members can be stored together.

Therefore, when you are thinking about a columbarium niche for your loved one who has died, the size you choose may be a factor if you and/or other family members want to be stored with them when you and/or they die.

Columbarium niches are a very good option with cremation services because they serve many practical purposes.

One practical purpose of a cremation niche for your loved one’s cremation remains is that friends and family have a fixed site where they can spend time with your loved one. When families keep urns in private homes, no one can spend time with that loved one unless they visit the home.

With a columbarium, however, friends and family can visit with your deceased loved one without having to plan a visit or ask for permission during the hours when the cemetery is open, and in that sense, it is similar to a grave site.

Another practical reason for choosing to store your loved one’s urn in a columbarium is space. In larger cities across America, cemeteries no longer have much space for burials. These cemeteries find it difficult to expand horizontally either because there is no available land or because the purchase price of available land is cost-prohibitive.

To counter this dilemma and to still meet the needs of the public, cemeteries are using the remaining space they have to expand vertically by building columbariums. This greatly increases the number of spots they have to offer as final resting places for deceased loved ones.

That is because columbariums inhabit a small amount of horizontal land space, but they can inhabit a lot of vertical air space.

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Some columbariums have a small number of niches, while others have an almost infinite supply of niches. No matter how tall a columbarium is built, it is designed so that all the niches are easy to get to and so that there is private space at niches to allow families to have private time with their deceased loved ones.

If you want more information about columbariums and cremation services in Adelphi, MD, you can talk with our expert staff at Donald V. Borgwardt Funeral Home, P.A.

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When Spouses Can’t Agree on Final Dispositions

You may be thinking about having cremation services in College Park, MD, but your spouse may want you to be buried instead, or you may want to be buried and your spouse wants you to have cremation services. You are both at an impasse.

It is not unusual for even the closest of spouses – who are generally in agreement about major things – to have disagreements during their marriage. Most of these are minor disagreements. They may disagree about how the toilet paper goes on the roller or what the right way to load the dishwasher is or what to have for dinner when no one is in the mood to cook.

These disagreements are the basis of a married couple’s story and they become part of their humorous legacy as the years of their marriage pass.

But, sometimes, disagreements are serious, and these may come when spouses start discussing the end of their lives. If you and your spouse are in disagreement over whether you want burial services or cremation services and you’re having a hard time finding any middle ground, you are not alone. It happens far more often than you might imagine.

However, there are some suggestions that you and your spouse can follow to try to reach a solution amicably.

First, treat each other with respect as you talk about the final disposition that each of you wants. Maybe you want to be cremated and your spouse wants to be buried. It’s important that each of you knows why the other wants the final disposition they’ve chosen.

Instead of arguing with each other and trying to convince each other that one person is right, and the other person is wrong, you both should ask questions about why your spouse has chosen a particular final disposition.

You may be surprised at the answers you both give, and you will both certainly have a better understanding of where you are coming from in advocating for the particular final disposition you want.

Second, you should spend time together doing research on burials and cremation services. For example, your spouse may be opposed to cremation services because they are terrified of being burned up (no fire is involved, in actuality).

Maybe they think they won’t be able to have a full range of funeral services if they are cremated (they will). Perhaps you have cemetery plots in a church or family graveyard that your spouse wants to use (urns can be buried in cemetery plots).

The more you both know, the closer you will come to be able to resolve your differences and choose a final disposition that works for both of you.

For an accurate and authentic guide to cremation services and burials, you and your spouse should make an appointment with the funeral home to talk with the funeral director about both methods of final disposition.

The funeral director will be able to give you answers to any questions you may have and can guide you step-by-step through both burials and cremation services so that you and your spouse have a full understanding of what is involved and what other funeral services are available for each.

 

While all of this may not put an immediate end to the disagreement you and your spouse have about your final dispositions, it can keep the door open to continue discussing it. You both have more knowledge so that you can keep talking about your funeral plans and make informed decisions about what you want when you die.

If you would like more information about cremation services offered in College Park, MD, you can talk with our expert staff at Donald V. Borgwardt Funeral Home, P.A.

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Remembering a Loved One During the Holiday Season

After cremation services in Adelphi, MD, you will grieve the loss of your loved one. With time, your grief will change from the intense sadness you feel right after your loved one dies, and your memories will be filled with comforting moments that wrap around you like a warm blanket on a cold winter night.

However, the holidays may disrupt all that warm comfort as you remember previous holidays when your loved one was still alive. The memories of the traditions you shared combined with the actual absence, whether it’s an empty chair at the table or an absent helper in preparations, can throw you back into intense grieving because your loved one is not there.

One of the things that you may find yourself thinking about your loved ones is that you are the only one missing them. You may watch family members and friends going about their normal routines and not even seeming to notice that your loved one isn’t there.

You may feel upset that it doesn’t seem to matter to anyone but you that your loved one has died and is no longer a part of holiday celebrations. While this may not be true, it doesn’t change how you feel.

So, it’s important for you to be able to find meaningful ways to remember your loved ones during the holiday season so that you can be assured in your own mind that they are not forgotten and they will never be forgotten.

One way that you can remember your loved one during the holiday season is to carry on one of their traditions. For example, your loved one may have been a great cook and there was one special dish they made every year only during the holiday season. Find their recipe for that special dish and adopt cooking or baking that dish your tradition as a tangible way to remember them.

Another way that you can remember your loved one during the holiday season is to donate your time or resources to something charitable that was special to them. Your loved one may have volunteered to deliver holiday meals to senior citizens or to families in need. Your loved one may have served meals on holidays to people in need at a church or a shelter.

If you don’t have a lot of time, try to donate a little time if you have it so you can honor your loved one by sharing the same experience they had. However, if it is not possible for you to donate your time, make sure you donate your resources to those causes.

Food banks, for example, are always in need of more food around the holiday season. Many times they will specifically ask for holiday meal items to be donated, so check to see what they need and provide for them as you are able. Some grocery stores will also donate meals to families during the holidays. All you need to do to participate is to make a donation by adding a set dollar amount to your checkout total.

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A final way that you can remember your loved one during the holiday season is to create something permanent in memory of them. You might plant a tree seedling inside that you can plant outdoors in your yard when the weather turns warm or you could have someone handcraft a memory chair or bench that you can put in your loved one’s favorite place.

If you want information about cremation services offered in Adelphi, MD, you can talk with our expert staff at Donald V. Borgwardt Funeral Home, P.A.

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How to Honor Your Loved One’s Memory as Time Passes

With cremation services for a loved one in College Park, MD, you will deal with the grief that comes from losing someone who is dear to you and holds a special place in your heart. The initial stages of grief can be very painful and intense as you come to grips with the reality that your loved one is gone and all that means.

This period of the grieving process will be filled with a great sense of loss and finality that can be very difficult to walk through. When your loved one dies, you’ve lost them and all of your life, going forward that is associated with them. That’s a hard blow to cope with.

You’ve lost the plans, the hopes, the dreams of the future that the two of you shared. You’ve lost their companionship. You’ve lost their love, their support, their comfort, and all the ways they were able to be your safe haven when the storms of life rolled through.

One of the things, however, that you will never lose from your loved one who has died is your past with them when they were alive. You have all the memories of your time together to hold and to cherish for the rest of your life.

This gift may be hard to recognize in the early stages of grieving because you’re focused on what your loved one’s death means for the present and for the future. But, as time passes, grief changes, and the memories of the time you had together will start flowing in, offering a sense of comfort and relief for your pain.

You want to keep your loved one’s memory alive and never stop honoring it. But you may not know exactly how to do that in a way that is deep and meaningful. Here are some ideas.

One way that you can keep your loved one’s memory alive and continue to honor it is by supporting a cause or a charity that they believed in. Support doesn’t have to be just monetary. Support can also be expressed through volunteering your time for the cause or the charity.

Even if you aren’t as enthusiastic as your loved one was about the cause of charity, you can pay homage to your loved one’s memory by donating a little of your time or money to them regularly.

Another way that you can keep your loved one’s memory alive and you can honor them is to visit places that were special to them or special to you and them. These places could be as simple as a park that you and your loved one regularly walked through or a restaurant that was your favorite.

These places might also be far away destinations that you traveled to frequently. Maybe you went to a city like New Orleans or Seattle every year for a few days. While in New Orleans, you may have made it a point to stop at the iconic Preservation Hall to listen to local jazz musicians play. While in Seattle, you may have had Pike Place Market as one of your not-to-be-missed stops.

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Whatever and wherever those places were, go to them. Enjoy the present in honor of your loved one and savor the memories of your past with your loved one as they wash over you to strengthen and hold you.

If you want information about cremation services offered in College Park, MD, you can talk with our expert staff at Donald V. Borgwardt Funeral Home, P.A.

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When Families Disagree Over Final Wishes

Often, when families are planning cremation services offered in Adelphi, MD, there will be disagreements about the final wishes of their loved ones. Funeral homes see this more than you might imagine and it is one of the areas in which they can help you and your family amicably get past any differences you might have to come to a consensus about your loved one’s final wishes.

It’s important up front to say that these kind of disagreements can be avoided if each of us sits down with our families before we die and tells them all at once what our final wishes are (they should also be documented in detail).

When we’re still living, we can explain to our family members why we’ve chosen what we’ve chosen and we can address any issues or disagreements that might arise during this conversation.

In the United States, we don’t talk about death enough or openly, and that is the primary reason why family disagreements over a loved one’s final wishes happen.

The death of your loved one is an emotional and unsettling time for you and your immediate family. Perhaps you are making funeral arrangements for a parent, and you and siblings are trying to decide how best to honor them and their memory.

Family dynamics alone are seldom without some friction and tension. Old feelings, words, and actions – many of which may have happened years or decades ago – that were never addressed and never resolved often come to the surface in times of crisis.

The death of your loved one is a time of crisis, and it is very likely, that your family dynamics will surface as you try to work together to honor the memory of your loved one and fulfill their final wishes as they would have wanted them fulfilled.

The keys to defusing family disagreements during the funeral process are to be willing to listen, be willing to yield, and be willing to put aside hard feelings or hurt feelings from the past. The death of a loved one can actually be a time of healing for a family, but it takes everyone’s effort to listen, yield, and set aside grievances to make it happen.

The lesson you can take away from this experience is make sure that you preplan your funeral. Decide whether you want to be buried or cremated. Cremation services are a very popular method of final disposition and they give your family a lot of flexibility in using your cremation remains to fulfill your final wishes.

Decide on the kind of service you want to have. You can have a funeral service (you will be cremated after the service) or a memorial service or a celebration of life (you will be cremated before the service).

How do you want to be remembered? Document everything you want included in the type of service you choose that you believe encapsulates your life and your spirit.

Write your obituary. No one can tell the story of your life like you can. This will be the last story you ever tell. Make sure it’s a story to remember.

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Once you’ve preplanned your funeral, gather your family together to tell them what you’ve decided. Listen to their input, address their concerns, and work to get consensus. Make sure they know where your funeral instructions are so that all they will have to do is take them to the funeral home to be carried out.

If you want more information about cremation services offered in Adelphi, MD, you can talk with our expert staff at Donald V. Borgwardt Funeral Home, P.A.

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The Faces of Grief

After cremation services in College Park, MD, you will face the grief of losing your loved one head-on. At first, it will be intense and pervasive, but you will find that grief has many different faces, and even those faces change as you go through the journey.

Sometimes external events are triggers for our grief and our memories as we travel through the grief process. For example, early in grieving, everything that even remotely reminds you of your loved one is probably going to evoke a strong emotional reaction.

But as time goes on, you may find that grief comes in different forms. Instead of life being bad because your loved one has died, you may find that you have good days with bad moments. Or you may find that you have a not-so-great day and someone shares a memory of your loved one and you find it comforting. And, then you may have those seemingly irrational moments when just the smallest – and sometimes, odd – things that remind you of your loved one bring on a complete meltdown.

You may not realize that grief is cumulative. Not all the grief that you experience will be because someone died. As humans, we suffer losses of various kinds throughout our lives and they produce grief.

You may have lost a pet when you were very young or you tried to save a wounded animal and it died. You may have missed an important school event or you weren’t chosen for a sport or activity that you wanted to be involved in. You may have not gotten into the college you wanted to go to or get the scholarship offer you expected.

You may have had to move far away from your family to pursue your education or career and you rarely see them now. You may have gotten married and then divorced. You may have wanted to get married, but it just never happened. You may have been passed over for a promotion at work or you changed jobs and discovered you hated your new job, but you couldn’t go back to your old job because it had been filled.

All of these are examples of losses. All of these – and more – cause you to experience some type of grief. The losses add up and so does the load of grief.

However, there are sometimes in your life where the losses come one right after another, instead of being spaced out by months or years. When this happens, as it has for many people during 2020 as the COVID-19 pandemic continues without abatement, you literally get overwhelmed.

You find it nearly impossible to put two thoughts that make any sense together. You may find yourself feeling exhausted when you wake up in the morning. You may find that it’s hard for you to focus on anything and that you continually feel distracted and disjointed.

All of that is grief from losses that have piled up on top of each other. Not all of these losses are because you had a loved one die, but they all cause you to grieve more intensely.

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If this describes what you’re experiencing, you are not alone. If you’re able to get some professional grief counseling, now would be a good time to take advantage of that. It won’t remove your grief, but professional counseling can help you find strategies for coping with it better so that you’re not feeling so overwhelmed all the time.

If you want more information about grief resources and cremation services offered in College Park, MD, you can talk with our expert staff at Donald V. Borgwardt Funeral Home, P.A.