Grief Upon Grief

After funerals at funeral homes in Greenbelt, MD, your grief begins to settle in as the reality that you’ve lost someone you love becomes fact in your mind and in your emotions. Grieving at any time is a difficult journey to walk through, but you may find that, right now, it’s not just difficult. It seems overwhelming.

There are a lot of reasons for that and you should be aware of them. As the COVID-19 sweeps across the United States, we are besieged with stories and images of death. The stories are heartbreaking as this pandemic escalates in its unrelenting and seemingly random selection of victims.

The images of large facilities being converted into temporary morgues in large urban areas is disturbing. The impact on daily life and routines, as we knew it before the COVID-19 pandemic, is unfamiliar (i.e., you can’t go back to the old routine you had before your loved one died) and unsettling. The rhetoric around the pandemic is inconsistent and, sometimes, incoherent, creating confusion and fear.

The death of your loved one created a huge change in your life. Suddenly and simultaneously, COVID-19 is bombarding you with a lot of other changes, some great and some small, but all requiring adjustment.

When you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, one of the most compelling things that are on your mind, whether consciously or unconsciously is “no more changes.” When a loved one dies, you need time to work through the grieving process without more upheaval.

You may find that you’re reluctant to move anything in your home after your loved one’s death. If your loved one was terminally ill and was in hospice care at home, you may find yourself overcome with emotion when the medical supply company comes to take away the equipment (hospital bed, oxygen concentrator or tanks, etc.) they provided for your loved one’s care.

You may leave your loved one’s things exactly where they were at the time they died. Clothes will stay folded in drawers or hanging in closets because removing them is another change. You may keep personal items on dressers or cabinets because moving them would be another change.

The change of learning to live without someone you love is part of what comes out of the grieving process. But suddenly having to deal with a lot of other changes that come from external sources on top of this big change in your life can have a dramatic effect on you while you’re grieving.

While that’s one reason you may be feeling overwhelmed as you grieve the loss of your loved one, the other reason is that you are experiencing grief upon grief.

You have the personal grief of the death of someone you love. Placed on top of that – and, to some extent, combined with it – is the grief of people around you, in your town, in your county, in your state, in your country because they’re loved ones are dying. It can be too much.

Perhaps it’s time to take a break from most of the 24/7 world that technology brings us. While there are many wonderous things about all the technology we have, there is also a saturation level that comes with it that can feel like it’s drowning you emotionally.

Consider limiting the time you spend catching up with the news. Consider limiting your time on social media. Consider, instead, spending more time connecting with family members and close friends who can encourage, comfort, and support you while you’re grieving.

Bad news and change are constants in life. COVID-19 has made change and bad news an epidemic. But you can protect yourself by distancing yourself from you and getting the nurturing and protection you need from those who love and care for you the most.

If you’d like to know more about grief resources at funeral homes in Greenbelt, MD, you can talk with our knowledgeable team at Donald V. Borgwardt Funeral Home, P.A.